Here we see a red blooded American owl in all the trappings of your average American citizen. He is rocking the traditional sombrero, moustache, and random maracas that have in recent years become inseparable facets of the American heartland. (Not pictured: Laziness, xenophobia, oft-recurring heart murmurs, gun, and horribly unpleasant yet confoundingly condescending wife.) Just think, a scant 240 years ago a bunch of people got together to write a very passive aggressive note that contained no legal legitimacy or obligation and sent it to some guy, somehow guaranteeing independence for the larger part of the Atlantic coast. It must have worked, though, or else I wouldn't be drunk right now. So God bless those guys who's names escape me! And God bless the other nations of the world and North American indigenous peoples for being generous enough to either surrender or die quietly so that a bunch of people they'd never met could hold dominion over places as vibrant and beautiful as Tulsa and Boise. After all, what we must remember for today only is that freedom isn't free, but odds are you weren't the one paying for it. Now who wants a margarita? (Check your inbox. You can email those now.)
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