Monday, September 26, 2011

Telephone Owltiquette

Here's a fun card that's perfect for at least 3 different occasions.


Occasion 1: You are a grandparent. Naturally, this means that the loneliness and displacement that you feel is crippling (just like your arthritis and the nerve damage caused by the stroke! LOLOL!) The one thing you have to look forward to is the hope that maybe somebody (read: anybody) will call you and chat. Before this card, that hope was empty. Now, you can trick yourself into thinking that someone actually might call just because you sent them a stupid card and a silver dollar that you thought was really cool. (Let's face it; if nothing else, at least nothing says 'guilt trip' like a cartoon owl reminding your grandson that he never calls.

Occasion 2: You are either an adolescent or an emotionally stunted adult; and there is someone who sits or works or waits for the bus near you that has never spoken to you and that you think is "phat." (And no; it's not just because he/she has a Dr. Who scarf and you think that's really "fly" of him/her.) You can tangify this awkward, awkward crush of yours by slipping him/her this card on the sly. (Of course, with the courage you mustered to simply slip this card into his/her backpack, you will have none left to leave your telephone number. Also, you're the only two people at that bus stop. He/she'll know it's you. He/she will walk the extra block to the next stop down.)

Occasion 3: You clearly are unable to accept the fact that your ex never wants to talk to you again.

I'm depressed now. Looks like it's time for some Marshmallow Pebbles! They're not a party in a box, per se, but it's the best I can do this late on a weeknight.

Tood-OWL-looo!

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