THE CROWS ARE HERE

DO NOT BE ALARMED.

DO NOT BE ALARMED.

The blog, for the month of October, has been hijacked.

There will be no OWLctober this year, no; it will be...

OCT"CROW"BER.

The various CROWverlords and neCROWmancers have taken it upon themselves to demand that this month I make cards relating only to crows.

GLORIOUS, GLORIOUS CROWS.

If I refuse to submit, then the hundreds of crows sitting outside my window right now have made it clear that they are unafraid to fling themselves at my house until they beat a way in and begin ripping my skin apart one beak-ful at a time as the blood splashes against their expressionless, glassy eyes.

WE SING FOR THEE, CROWS.

As such, I'll set this OctCROWber off right by inviting you to join me in the honoring of the Flightless Trinity; also known as the most famous three crows who, as far as I know, can't fly.

CRO

A robot. If you're wondering how he eats or breathes or other science facts; stop it.

CRO

A cave-boy. He befriends a wooly mammoth who becomes frozen in a glacier, only to be reanimated in the 90's. Needless to say, the mammoth's friend Cro is long dead. The mammoth tells stories, but only about Cro, as if his dear friend were still alive. He is not. He is lost in time; time that can never be reclaimed. This became a children's show.

MIKE CROW

Host of BIRDY Jobs

Yes, I can't help but feel as if I deserve to be held down on a table only by the threat of the thousand sharp beaks surrounding me as a mind-control corn cob is placed in my ear. Crows are far nobler creatures than owls and DESERVE ALL THE MICE ALL THE MICE ALL THE MICE CAWWW CAWW CAWWW CAWWW as their leader so eloquently put it. I've been wasting time with owls, a fact that, looking back, I can truly call... shall I say... RidiCROWlous. So I present to you, the reader, and to the light-swallowing cloud of crows silently watching me, the first ever CROW RELATED GREETING CARD.

Does anyone remember that part in Resident Evil where you had to rearrange the paintings on the wall; and if they were put in the wrong order, then a bunch of crows would come down and mess you up?

I don't.