Sweet Jesus, what the hell is this??? Seriously, somebody tell me what the hell is going on in this picture? As far as I can discern, it appears to be some type of (yet to be discovered) bearded owl. The owl is having difficulty maintaining the size and proportions of his terrifying iris-es, so he resorts to putting a wing to the wind and putting a retarded fedora on his head. (The careful observer might also notice the owl has a GHOST BALLOON tied to his lefternmost talon.) If she truly intends this to be a greeting card, I only hope it's the kind that you send to dying strangers to serve as a portent of death, much like the shriek of a banshee, or the Shrek of the Third.
I also found this.
Firstly, I don't believe she is sorry about anything. Secondly, I have no idea who (or what) "Sabbaticowl" is. Is it the name of her mangy steed, flying her across the country on his hulking mass of sinewy bones? Or is it the name of a lover, flying her across his (or her) genitals on his (or her) hulking mass of sinewy bones?
I know sinewy bones are involved somehow.
Or, more diabolic"OWL" still... could "Sabbaticowl" be some kind of drug? A pill you take when you simply can't come up with a single, coherent owl pun?
I THOUGHT WE WERE KEEPING THIS CLEAN, CONNOWLSSEUR. God knows the only recreational substances I ever touch are my famous bleach milkshakes, and they're more like performance debilitating drugs than performance enhancing. IF YOU ARE JUICING, CONNOWLSSEUR, just pee somewhere. I got a big lawn.
And if I may say, Connowlsseur, you are fooling no one with your cut out, upside down "M".
Do you really expect me to believe there were no "W"s anywhere?
Better luck next time.
And now... a video of me opening a paycheck.
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