Owl Related Government Contracts: Das Drittel

Well, here's the next design I want to pitch to the government. It's more of a public service announcement than a greeting card, but I think you'll see.

In all the time I've spent on the DC Metro (I'd estimate at LEAST 2 years and 3 months when put all together,) I've never encountered poop. I have, however, encountered smells. Smells than no one can explain, without, of course, suggesting that there are people who poop in their pants on the Metro. Which is fine, I guess, but those cars get really crowded really quick. They get hot and damp, and during those busy times it's impossible to not dry hump the seven people surrounding you every time the train moves.

And let me be clear, there is a point that I cannot over-emphasize enough...

I love to dry hump strangers.

But strangers with poop in their pants? In our nation's capital? Unacceptabowl. Hopefully the powers that be in the great masonic District of Columbia will notice this AWESOME POSTER and start putting them at every Metro stop. (I've already released several Great Grey Owls into the Kennedy Center in an attempt to create what I call "buzz." Sadly, the few that have survived this long have begun to terrorize the cast of Wicked in misguided and sometimes tragically successful undertakings to wound and feed upon the smaller actors and children.)

See ya next Monday!