Monday, April 16, 2012

Coming Out of the Gates

The applications for this week's card should be obvious.


If you are any combination of L, B, and/or G, then you probably are aware of how awkward it is to tell your family and friends that you are a combination of L, B, and/or G. With this card, the awkwardness is whisked away. Simply deliver this card to those WASPy parents of yours, and watch as the owl does the talking for you. Your father can't yell obscenities at a greeting card and your mother can't stare blankly, confusedly, and sadly at a cartoon owl in a vest!

OR...

Perhaps you've made a crucial misstep in the world of romance, and you must break it off with a paramour with feelings on both sides remaining intact. Telling her or him that you're gay is the oldest trick in the book, and makes you look like an idiot. HOWEVER, IF YOU TELL HIM OR HER THAT YOU'RE GAY AND YOU HAVE AN OWL RELATED GREETING CARD TO PROVE IT, THEN SHE OR HE WILL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO BELIEVE YOU AND TO STOP TEXTING YOU!

ALSO...

This card would also be a great invitation to a coming-out party so that your guests will know long in advance exactly what they have in store.

Who would have thought that one simple card would have so many uses?

I DID.

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