Monday, April 9, 2012

Here Comes Peter CottontOWL

Easter is a pretty nice holiday. It's not as big as Christmas, but it's not as small as Veteran's Day. It's right in the midddle, and I appreciate that. But my favorite thing about Easter still is, and always will be, buying discounted candy after the holiday is through. I've been doing it since I've had a driver's license, and have been trying to spread the joy to my friends by telling them of this practice or inviting them to come along. Shocking few of them, it seemed, participated in the past.

...But not this guy. I never EVER pass up Easter candy, the finest of all candy. The genre of candy known as "Easter" has three of the best things invented included in its description: jelly beans, Cadbury cream eggs (ORIGINAL, NOT ORANGE OR CARAMEL OR MINI. IF YOU MENTION ANY OTHER VARIANT OF CADBURY EGG TO ME I WILL SHRIEK AT YOU. I WILL SHRIEK LIKE A DEMENTED GRACKLE UNTIL YOU LEAVE MY IMMEDIATE FIELD OF VISION) and marshmallow Peeps.

This year was no different from any other, in that, in one explosive, self-detrimental display, I heaved home two mighty sacks full of twenty dollars worth of clearance candy with the intent of having breakfast for the rest of the semester planned out already (it will be PEEPS.) In fact, here's an imagined dialogue that might happen if I told someone about my intentions.

Scott: Yo man, I just had Reese's for breakfast!

Man: You had candy for breakfast?

Scott: YES!

IT HAS HAPPENED BEFORE AND IT SHALL HAPPEN AGAIN. THIS IS WHAT SPRINGTIME IS TO ME NOW. THIS IS ALL THAT IT IS AND ALL THAT IT EVER WILL BE AGAIN.

SO in spirit of the story of the resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth, here's an owl related greeting card that I'm sure will apply, at very least, to me (and maybe you) sometime after my (or your) third bag of Hershey's Minis.

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