The Crows Remain

As I write this, dear reader(s?,) I am in the grips of disease. I would not be concerned, except for the fact that I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M SICK WITH. Well, actually, I'm pretty sure it's food poisoning. But I DON'T KNOW WHERE I GOT FOOD POISONING FROM. It's actually really (really REALLY) interesting to think how I was able to embroil myself in a perfect storm of bacterial intrigue. In the hours before symptoms appeared, I consumed three things. Let's see if you can guess which one gave me painful and acute diarrhea!

First suspect: McDouble cheeseburger from an unnamed restaurant. Likely prepared by a thoughtless brute. This was at McDonalds, by the way.

Second suspect: Twix bar from an unnamed Walmart. Although stored at the standard Walmart room temperature of 48 degrees farenheit, when opened it was completely melted. Curious, to say the least.

Third suspect: Fried gum from the State Fair of Texas. Certainly prepared by a thoughtless brute. Although this seems the obvious culprit, wouldn't bowel obstruction be the calling card of this virulent delicacy?

It's a mystery to say the least. Well, I'll mince no further words, since the act of simply blogging about food poisoning, in my fragile state, is enough to make me pass out on the big 'ol plate of McDoubles and fried gum I have before me.

So here's this week's CROW RELATED GREETING CARD!

The funny thing was I saw Ronald McDonald at the state fair. Was this all a conspiracy? Was it all a fever dream? Or is there a secret in my colon that someone... or something... wants?

I doubt it.