Well, earlier last week, after recieving another anonymous phone call from Michael telling me to check my mailbox, I found this:
Rounds are officially being fired in this, only the second owl related greeting card related conflict of the 21st century. This little gem is a depiction of some variety of horrible owl / shamrock hybrid, that, undoubtedly, is being groomed for destruction by my newest arch nemesis "The Connowlsseur", or "Tavia" for short. Of course, the demented manifesto that I've come to find scrawled haphazardly across the back of all of her documents was, unsurpisingly, present.
Well, this most recent embr"owl"glio has been going on for a while now, and I can tell that she is struggling. As Clarence Darrow once said, "Simply suggesting your own pr"owl"ress is in itself exemplary of the speaker's lack thereof." And who is she to say that the burn that I'm feeling isn't herpes?
SHE IS NOT A DOCTOR.
After all, as Clarence Darrow once said, "This is strictly off the record, but I could take or leave the poor."
Needless to say, this insult will be repaid. May I introduce the next flying mortar in this unending owl related greeting card related nightmare.
...or, consider the alternate version...
Your move, "Connowlsseur."
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